A problem with communication is the number one reason why most relationships end or lead to divorce. If you’re going through relationship trouble, but you know you’re in a relationship with long term potential, this article is for you.
By following the suggestions below, you’ll be able to spot key warning signs and tackle them effectively, so you can hold onto your relationship.
Ready? Let’s get started.
The Top Reasons Relationships Fail
These are the most common reasons why relationships fail today:
Trust is everything in a relationship, and once trust is gone, the likelihood of that relationship lasting is low.
Trust issues can encompass a number of different factors, including sexual infidelity, emotional infidelity, unreasonable rigidity, possessiveness, and jealousy. It can also include game playing, lack of emotional support, and lack of reliability.
Poor communication is one of the top reasons why couples end up in therapy and is an indicator that divorce may be around the corner. When poor communication leads to contempt, the writing is on the wall.
A Lack of Fun in the Relationship
When you’ve been with someone for a long time, you may find that your lives get stale, and you’re not making a conscious effort to stay connected and have fun.
When you’re not making time for date night, and simply sit next to each other on the couch watching Netflix each night, it’s easy to see how the passion and fun can disappear.
We’re all busy, but when you forget to nurture your relationship, the intimacy can disappear and boredom can occur.
When you’re continually prioritizing other things above your relationship, you’ll often find that you no longer have anything to talk about.
Once you’ve been in a relationship for six months to a year, it may become obvious that you’re financially incompatible. Money issues will often lead to security, safety, power, and trust issues.
Money often isn’t an issue when you’re dating casually, but when you’re living together or traveling together, it can seriously impact your relationship.
How to Address Relationship Trouble
If you were nodding along while reading some of the above signs, you may be feeling worried. But it’s not too late to address these issues, so you can stay in your relationship for the long haul.
Here are some of the top ways to address relationship trouble:
Repair Your Connection
Your levels of engagement in a relationship can predict whether that relationship will still be intact years from now.
That’s why it’s so important to repair your connection if it’s been broken.
Take some time to remember how it felt when you and your partner first met. Often, we get caught up in the day-to-day stresses and distractions of life and forget the reasons we were attracted to our partners in the first place.
Stop the Patterns
We all have negative patterns and habits in a relationship, and it’s common to have the same old argument over and over.
Of course, if you’re constantly fighting about the same thing, this problem needs to be addressed. However, you can address it with constructive criticism- instead of going into the fight with an ‘in it to win it’ mentality.
One way to do this is to take a time out before you say something you regret. Work on ways you can express yourself that won’t lead to an escalation of the argument. Keep the bigger picture in mind- you’re a team, and it’s not about winning or losing.
Increase Your Commitment
You’re more likely to be able to address relationship trouble if you cut down on the behaviors that diminish your sense of relationship commitment.
Replace them with nonverbal displays of love- touch, kissing, smiling, and taking the time to talk to each other.
Remember to avoid attributing annoyances to your partner’s character or personality. Instead, make it clear that while the thing they’ve done has annoyed you, you still love them as a person.
Avoid Bringing up the Past
Whether it’s a long-forgotten fight, an ex, or a bad family situation, refrain from bringing the past into present fights. This will never improve things and is actually more likely to make the situation much worse as it’s blown out of proportion.
Instead, focus on the present. Make it a rule to never bring up ancient history and you’ll both be happier for it.
Truly forgiving the other person will help fix your relationship when it’s on the rocks. But this means actually choosing to forgive (and forget) and not stewing over the problem later.
Simply saying “Okay, I forgive you,” can be hugely powerful.
Be Willing to Compromise
If one or both of you were single before this relationship, you may not be practiced when it comes to compromising.
Serious relationships are all about compromise, and it’s important to remember that you can’t always have it your way- healthy relationships require give and take. Be prepared to compromise and your partner will likely pick up on this and begin to do the same.
As mentioned earlier, poor communication is one of the biggest problems in relationships. That’s why it’s so important to talk about your feelings. Your partner isn’t a mind-reader, and shouldn’t have to guess how you think and feel.
If you can’t talk openly, your partner won’t be able to understand your feelings, and you’ll end up simmering with resentment. Instead, make an effort to address problems and issues soon after they occur, so you can both move past them.
If you’re in a relationship with long-term potential, fixing any small problems now is the best way to keep that relationship healthy.
The above tips will help you address relationship trouble. But if you’re serious about fixing a relationship that’s on the rocks, it may be a good idea to talk to a professional.
Get in touch to make an appointment so you can begin working on your relationship today.